Loser’s letter, loser’s letter
Can it get any better?
I’ve done this once now make it twice
Because my team really bites
Russell Wilson, where’d you go?
Did you forget how to throw?
Jordan Howard, your team did great
You did nothing but masturbate.
Marvin Jones, you son of a bitch
Have you used up all your tricks?
Thank you OJ Howard you ass
You hurt yourself and fell on grass
Just like Evan Engram did
For me last week, I was livid
What else should I bitch about?
Cooper Kupp, and my doubt
That he would not perform that way
With 28 points aka “HayDay!”
That’s 11 more than Sony got
Who makes me team look a little more hot
I could’ve posted 90 points
Instead I smoked 90 joints
To avoid being a total pooper
I could’ve started Amari Cooper
Over Marvin for 13 more
To 103, that lifts my score
In the woulda, shoulda, coulda game
I’m the best! You know my name
Instead I sit at 2-2
And contemplate what to do
Probably wrap this letter up
And hate myself for Cooper Kupp
At least the Packers D looks stout
My consolation for losing a bout
To Sean Gomez, my dear old friend
A nicely gifted win I send
One good thing about week 4
Was becoming very poor
Because my iPhone 6 had cracks
I write this on an XS Max
Which surely will improve my play
In week 5. Jake is gay.