I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down. Chumbawamba repeats this line 27 times in the song Tubthumping. I hope this is the first and last time this year I am forced to use it as the bottom biznatch. In honesty, as the BB, I don’t feel that bad having to write up the LL this week, because 78 points isn’t THAT bad and seems to be a relatively respectable sum (I think I scored 36 in a game one time). Maybe none of you respect it, but I don’t care, you can all eff yourselves with Terrance’s fallen off penis. That conversation escalated very quickly and definitely came to an end prematurely. I would have preferred a bit more foreplay, or maybe even some five or sixplay if you guys were into it. I’ll tell ya'll what, there were two chubbs on my team that night. Icky!!
Tubthumping sounds like an Adrian Peterson form of punishment (take ‘em to the tub, beat ‘em, blood goes right down the drain, no messy clean up) or how we might describe what Sean and Eric did to their opponents last week. Congrats on the blowouts guys and a big shout out to Sean for slingin’ dingy at the running back position a few days after getting blasted on the podcast. I didn’t actually listen to the podcast (and to be honest, I am still not even sure who is who on the cast), so I don’t know how rough the “blasting” was, but way to stick it to them nonetheless (even if it is only for one week).
I think I mentioned this shortly after the draft, but Schweg’s team looks stacked. It’s really the only scary one in the league. Although, that bagel from the Packer’s D this week was pretty pathetic. Look on the bright side though, the Packers lost in real football, so that’s a plus (you had to stick it to Jensen one way or another). I hope Kyler goes for 17 this week and you beat Jensen by 1 point. It’s nothing personal Jensen, I hope Aaron and Eric lose too, just so I can be the lone 3-1 team in our division after taking down the Dooler. That’s right. I’m calling it. Chase is going down this week and he is going to be bottom biatcharoni. I really need you to do that Chase, because I am not that confident my team is going to crank off this week. I am sympathetic to your current Saquon situation though, as I too have lost a beloved first overall pick. It was just two short years ago that I lost David Johnson to injury. Well, the years were the same length as they are now, so I guess I could just say two years ago. Anyway, it sucks and it’s going to be a tough road ahead, and you’ll probably fail to make the playoffs. I made the playoffs the year it happened to me, but I’ll attribute that to having the luxury of playing everyone on their down weeks. That’s something that just can’t be taught.
Well, I just hit 500 words and I believe that is the totally arbitrary, meaningless threshold that we came up with for this exercise. I hope you are all as excited as I am to find out how Devin Singletary pans out as a fantasy play (spoiler: he’s a dud).