Week 5 is in the books and I sure as hell hoped it would be a lot longer than now, before I had the “privilege” of writing the Loser’s Letter. Anyways, here we are, so let me break some shit down for youse guys. We finally saw everyone get a notch in the W column this week..! In the “Brotherly Love Match-Up” A-Vay took the title of top scorer this week with 114! Solid games from AJ and Rivers finally didn’t play like complete shit helped.. J-Vay had a good week from Cam and Doug E Fresh Martin, but that’s about it so, he remains with a stable 2-3 record..A-aron is a shitty 1-4..it is a suprising thing to see the Vaiden Brethren dwellin’ in the cellar! But I love it! #TheWeekndVoice
I’ll get this garbage out of the way, Snake is 5-0, with a league low 329 points scored against, I plugged that into one of Jensen’s Excel charts and it came up with you being 100% lucky muh fucky! So no more debate! It’s science! I did not mind too much that Jake beat a red hot boner of a team that Schwegward has put together(league high 520 Points For)…obviously you should’ve started a rookie, Watson, over Rodgers..! Haha jk of course, fuck fantasy fball!
Speaking of not starting the right guys, in the “Arm Pit Match-Up” of the week,Jarret got a W this week with solid performances from the usual AB and Duke Johnso…wait?! Fuckin’ Duke Johnson!? Yeah, he broke a late screen for a TD and put together a solid final number to help squeak one out.. It didn’t help that I left Adams and Fuller on my bench. It was lucky that most of the league stayed stagnant standings-wise and the right people won so there was minimal change. Jarret survived the Monday night game with no fantasy output from Cohen, even though his Vikes players gave me a chance..
Jensen had some serious luck on his side against another red hot Schwegler bro-ham! Based on the season Diggs has had, I highly doubted he’d come away with a goose egg and let Jensen luck out a W..and he did to win by 4… I think Jensen is getting some lucky anal leakage dripped on him from being just under Jake in the division standings. Erik had a pedestrian game from Gurley for the first time this year and Bell continues to be inconsistent in a struggling Steeler offense. Jensen, you is going down next week, so enjoy the flavor while ya got it!
Terrance and Sean had close one this week, with the difference being a late 90 yd TD run from Founettcate! A cool 15 point play for an unlucky Sean that can’t seem to guess right on playing Stafford or Brady. Terrance on the other hand, is killing the QB spot with a surprisingly explosive Carson Wentz. Solid WR play and the big run late got Terrance the W by 10..
Overall, a fun week of football..A-Rod does what he does, Big Ben with 5 picks and I still got beat by him?! Kareem Hunt proved he is just human.. Odell gone, JJ gone, injuries are as gay as a wiffle ball helmet and I wish there was something one could do without removing the lovely, beautiful violence of the game.. even though JJ’s was non-contact, it still fuckin sucks.. I have to mention Mitchell as well ;) I liked the way he looked overall based on the situation and surroundings. I wont got too deeply cuz like three of you care to hear it..but, my new man crush continues!
Here’s to week 6 and good luck to all of you, except J-Bone! Eat shit!